Joy at Twenty-eight Degrees

This morning, I went out to start my car and I was immediately bowled over by the weather. It didn't hurt. It has been an especially rough couple of below zero weeks here in the great white north.  We have had windchills making it feel like a body part may just up and fall off. But this morning, it did not hurt. Is this what joy feels like?

It only lasted until I ran into the recycling bin and knocked it over. I have a very poor attention span until the meds kick in...Some call that slow to wake up. Not me. I am an experienced head case, I know the difference. As my son was picking up the nastiness and tossing it back inside the bin, I assure you he was not feeling joy. Sorry pal, I owe you one. Maybe even three. That was a disgusting task.

The holiday season is rough for a lot of folks, and for those of us who battle depression and anxiety, without proper care, they are brutal. I have been reading about happiness and learning many ways to achieve it. A vital one for me is to unload my expectations. This allows me to be grateful when things do go my way. It makes sense then, that knocking over the bin did not upset me. I not only expect that I will make a fumble like that, I expect that my day will be full of them. When it is not, I am truly grateful. As is I am sure, the bicyclist I did not hit and my daughter, whose head I did not burn during the morning straighten. Ahhh, more joy!

I do not expect that my husband will bring me flowers, so when he does, I am over joyed. Full of gratitude. Ok, I should be ashamed of myself. That right there was not an example of zero expectation, but rather an outright manipulation (he reads my blog) that will lead me right into the black disappointing hole of expectation. Hey, cut me some slack, it takes three weeks to form a new habit. Honey, I still want the flowers.

All of this talk about expection brings me to the Christmas lists of my children. Assume you will get nothing. Assume coal and be overjoyed with the moldy orange in the bottom of your stocking. Somewhere in time the wish list lost it's true meaning. IT IS A WISH LIST. You are not registering for gifts, and even if you were, you would still be WISHING, not EXPECTING. You are not placing an order to be picked up in it's entirety on December 25th. Where is the chance for surprise, gratitude and joy? Having said all of that, our family has a firm belief in wishing. Wishing is beautiful and everyone has a right to wish for the moon. Just don't let your wish list get tangled up with that no good trouble making expectation. No good will come of it.

Take care out there in the big chaotic world of holiday madness. Smile and wave. You may turn someone's day around. Or, they will think you are batshit crazy. The outcome is insignificant as you have made no assumptions and expect zero in return. Ode to Joy!